The end of another year.

It is late December, my mind is racing thinking about the end of another year and the many events that have happened. I start the year full of hope and in the end I still have hope in my spirit. It has been a mixture of good and bad as any year may be. The many blessings I have I am grateful for. It is in these blessings I find strength to build my inner resources so I can be fortified in my battle to remain true to myself despite my outer weakness. I was diagnosed with more serious stuff and while the last one I am still in shock, I will not loss my fighting spirit, I will still be me.  The sports fan who loves writing poetry, reading a mystery, going to historical sites and listening to music.  My hope for each of us is that in the new year whatever it may hold that we are remain true to ourselves. Wishing all the very best in 2011.

Practice random acts of kindness.

Yesterday, I was a little down. Today, I am doing better. I have so much to be grateful for. In the last week total strangers and not so total strangers have reached out and practiced random acts of kindness, In the parking lot at Lunds during a snow storm someone had cleared my car off of snow stating " Merry Christmas".  The next one was done by 3 people who took pity on me and dug my car out. My car was covered to my roof with snow. I was trying on working on the installment plan. Did not want to over tax my heart. When I went out the second time it was taken care of.  So what did I learn from receiving  the kindness of others. That despite the rush of the season simple things can be done to cheer up someones day. It means that I need to look beyond myself to those around me.

This sucks and that is ok.

So I am down a bit and thinking that life can suck.  I had already been told in October that I had coronary artery disease. So last Thursday I get the results from the echo. I have a new chronic serious disease called Pulmonary Hypertension. I was lucky it was found before in the severe stage. At first I was upbeat thinking I already have other serious diseases I can handle this. The last 2 days I have been down in my spirit . Thinking Life can suck. Thinking I already made changes to better my life. So I am grieving the loss some of the things in my life that I enjoy. So I will not feel bad when I am not upbeat and be gentle with myself. Yeah life can suck and that is ok.